Handling the Pain from Healing.
I posted this very photo on my instagram once with the caption "Let's skip the small talk, who hurt you." My comments went up in flames. Why? Cuz we all can talk about how we have been hurt. Sometimes it feels easier to talk about your pain more than talking about what your interested in. Because we know pain so well it's easy to discuss. So let's talk about it. You've been hurt. You've been through a lot. You can't seem to get over it. You're tired of feeling this way. I get it. I really do.
And you're on a path of healing. I know you are because you are reading this.
But here's the thing: healing isn't easy. It's not supposed to be easy. It will hurt. I had a coach tell me once "How pain is stored is how it's released." So if it hurts, know that you actually are releasing that pain.
I know that's not what you expected to read. I know it's hard to keep going when it feels like everything is against you at times. Like all the weight is on your to break that generational curse. But here's why you have to keep going.
Understand the Hard Truths Behind Healing
It's hard to face the truth. It's hard to realize that It's to accept the feelings of pain and suffering that come throughout the process. Yet it's important to understand these hard truths if we want to make healing easier for ourselves. You may want to know what to expect, but when we understand that healing is a process and not a destination, it makes the journey a little less daunting.
It's also important how we handle ourselves. To give ourselves permission to be imperfect, to stumble and fall along the way. To forgive ourselves when we don't get it right, but at least we are still trying. When we can accept ourselves for who we are, then healing becomes a little bit easier.
Recognize That There Will Be Pain
When you're in the thick of it, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It feels like things won't get better, and you're stuck in this dark place. But I promise you, that's not the case. There will be pain during part of the healing process. It's unavoidable. You will feel like you're going through hell sometimes and it will seem like nothing can make it better. But I assure you, that's only temporary. That feeling, that thought of endless suffering. It absolutely will go away. And those feelings and thoughts will go away sooner the more you decide to not focus on the suffering and pain. The pain will lessen with time, and eventually, it will disappear altogether. And that's when you start to recognize that you are healing. But realize, you have been healing the entire time.
It's tough to keep going when all you want to do is give up. Please don't give up on yourself. You're stronger than you think, you further along than you realize and you are already making it through this. I believe in you.
Choose to Forgive in Order to Heal
Forgiveness is one of the most important—and difficult—parts of the healing process.
When you're hurt, it's natural to want to lash out and hold onto that anger. It's a way of protecting yourself, of maintaining that sense of control in a situation where you feel like you've lost everything. But anger and resentment only keep you trapped in that pain. They don't allow you to move on.
Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the key to healing. It sets you free from that anger and bitterness, and it allows you to start fresh. It doesn't mean that what happened is okay, or that you're forgetting what happened. It just means that you're choosing to let go and move on.And that can be a difficult choice to make. But it's always worth it in the end.
But to me, one of the main reasons forgiveness is so difficult is because if you aren't forgiving EVERYONE, then somewhere you are still practicing unforgiveness. Forgiveness becomes easier when you give EVERYONE a clean slate, including yourself, no matter what. When you start to determine forgiveness and measuring who is worth forgiving vs who isn't because of the difference in circumstances or principles, you are actually creating blockages and set back in your journey of moving forward with your healing.
Practice unconditional forgiveness. Yet it will feel hard at first, like anything practice in the beginning. But the more you intentional practice through reminders and choices, and if you continue to tell yourself that everyone will receive yourself forgiveness, including yourself, then you are allowing the feeling of freedom and detachment to fill up your spirit, and that in itself will bring you so much peace.
Allow Yourself Time and Patience
It's important to remember that healing can be a slow process. It's is ok to take your time. There's no destination to rush to. You don't want to get hurt along the way. So take your time. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they may be. This can help you process what you are going through and come out with a greater understanding of yourself and the world around you. That will help you feel as though you are progressing, moving forward.
Give yourself the space and time that you need to heal. Set realistic expectations for yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself if it takes longer than you thought it would. Your logic may say that you are behind in this journey, but you're spirit knows you are exactly where you are suppose to be on this journey. It all serves a purpose. Show patience with yourself and trust that things will get easier as time goes on and you gain more wisdom about yourself.
The truth is, healing isn't easy; it takes energy, intention, effort, awareness, patience and most importantly, time. But if you are committed to nurturing yourself, your mental health, body and spirit, then you are on the path to feeling better in no time!
Allow Grace to Enter Your Journey
When it comes to embarking on the healing journey, one of the most crucial elements is to allow grace to enter. It’s ok to make mistakes and will happen along the way. We are only human and it’s part of the greater process — we are learning and growing. There will be days when it feels too hard, but remember that a higher power is always there guiding us back to our inner peace.
Make sure you practice self-compassion and kindness, so that you don’t give up when things get tough. Also, try not to focus on reaching a certain milestone. Instead, recognize that healing takes it's time — just slow down and enjoy the journey itself. Take small steps each day with grace and patience until you reach your destination.
If you want some tangible help, grab my guided journal "Guide Yourself with Grace" It's an extension of my helping hand to graceful guide your spirit towards Joy and Happiness. Reach for my hand when you need helping hand.
Guide Yourself with Grace
Focus on What You Can Control
When healing feels difficult, it can be tempting to focus on all the things you can't control—like the pain you're feeling or the situation you're in. You feel like you are on the effect side of things and have lost power. But a better approach is to focus on what you can actually control: your thoughts and attitudes. Getting back on the cause side and not the effect side helps you hold onto your personal power.
It’s ok to allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions while healing, but be mindful of how much time and energy you spend on things that are out of your control. You choose how long to focus on that pain and suffering. So instead, make an effort to look for the small wins—like taking a break when needed or being kinder to yourself—no matter how small they may seem. Or call a friend who you know will shift your mindset to be positive. Listen to uplifting music, podcast, or video clips. Shift your focus. That is in your control
When it comes to healing, it’s often a journey filled with varying degrees of ups and downs. But by focusing on what’s in your power, you will feel ready to conquer this process.
There is no one right way to approach healing. Some people find that diving into the hard truths is the best way to move forward, while others try forgiveness and grace to be more helpful. Both approaches work for who they are working for. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you find what works for you and that you are there for yourself as you flow through your healing process. And if you ever need help along that way, reach out to someone. It's better to have help and support through the journey than to go through it alone. And as a life coach, it's my purpose to help and I would be happy to help you. All you have to do is reach out.
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Brittany S. Hall
Life Coach & CEO of Spirit of Alignment