Cultivating Self
Self Love, Self Forgiveness, Self Trust & Self Confidence.
Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you are walking on a beach. The sun is shining, the waves are crashing against the shore, and the sand is warm and welcoming beneath your feet. In the distance you see a lighthouse, and as you walk closer you can see the light shining in the window.
You enter the lighthouse and come to a set of stairs. You start to climb, and as you do so you become more and more aware of the light inside of you. The further you climb, the brighter the light becomes, until finally you reach the top and see yourself in all your glory. You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are love. You are everything you've ever wanted to be.
This is your journey of self... self love, self forgiveness, self trust, and self confidence. This journey is all about you.
Self Love
Self love is one of the most important aspects of our lives. It's the foundation that everything else is built upon. When we're able to love and accept ourselves unconditionally, key word...unconditionally, we're able to open up to other people and experiences more authentically. We're able to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and move on from them. We're able to trust ourselves, knowing that we'll always do our best and can count on ourselves. And we're able to have confidence in who we are, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. But self love isn't cultivated overnight. It's something that we have to work at and maintain every day. It's a journey that takes us deep within ourselves, and helps us to uncover all that lies within. It's a journey of self discovery, and it's one that we should never stop exploring.
Self Forgiveness
It's not easy to forgive ourselves. We're our harshest critics, and we can be very unforgiving of our own mistakes. But learning to forgive ourselves is an important step on the road to self-love and self -acceptance.
There are a few things you can do to make the process easier. First, be gentle with yourself and offer yourself grace. Accept that you're human and that you're going to make mistakes. Second, try to understand why you made the mistake in the first place. What was going on in your life at the time? What emotions were you feeling? Once you understand why you made the mistake, it becomes a little easier to forgive yourself when you have clarity and understanding.
Finally, remember that forgiving yourself is not a one-time event. It's something you need to do over and over again, as you make new mistakes and learn new lessons. So get use to practicing forgiveness with yourself.
Self Trust
It's one thing to know what self trust is, and it's another to cultivate it within yourself. This is something that takes time, patience and a lot of effort.
But the rewards are worth it. When you trust yourself, you're able to make decisions that are in line with your values and beliefs. You're able to connect with others on a deeper level, and you're more likely to achieve your goals.
How do you build self trust? It's different for everyone, but here are some tips to get started:
Be honest with yourself
Take risks and be brave enough to risk failing or succeeding
(yes even success can feel like a risk to some people)
Make time for yourself
Be committed to believing in yourself
Self Confidence
Self confidence is not something that happens overnight either and requires a lot of personal growth and exploration. Start by thinking about all the things you have accomplished in your life, however small and insignificant they may seem. Start to recognize how capable and worthy you are even in the smallest of situations.
Start taking inventory of all the positive qualities that make up who you are, from strengths to passions, values, hobbies etc. You can place yourself in an environment or group with people who share positive energy and vibes; exposing yourself to these kinds of environments can help your self confidence blossom. Lastly, do not be afraid to take risks or step outside of your comfort zone; this allows for experience, growth and ultimately helps you gain self confidence as well.
Motivating Self
Sometimes it's hard to stay motivated and positive, especially you're facing difficult times or under stress. It can be hard to show yourself love and kindness, but building in moments of self-care during these tough times is really important. First step, is to relieve yourself of the stress. Do something that relaxes your mind. Check in with your breathing and calm your breath. Once you can get yourself into a calmer state of being then you can start to build up the energy to feel motivated.
Use positive language when talking to yourself. Be mindful of the tone you use, and focus on the positives, such as how far you've come and how much you have already accomplished. Remind yourself that failure is not permanent, and that it's ok to make mistakes—as long as you learn from them. Don't be too hard on yourself!
You can also take some time to do something fun every day that brings you joy, like watching a movie or playing a game. Make it a part of your daily ritual to do something that you enjoy for yourself. Doing so can help shift your mindset into a more positive, enjoyable space and provide a distraction from whatever challenges are going on around you. Additionally, spending time with loved ones reminds you that there are people who love and care about you and pour into. People can be like soul food, they feed you energy that gives you the energy to want to keep going and succeed.
Transform Your Mindset
How can you start cultivating these feelings within yourself? Here are a few steps to help you on your journey of self-discovery:
Acknowledge your feelings and learn to trust your intuition. Listen to the voice inside of your gut. Our spirit lives in our stomach. Not our minds. That's why you hear these ancient sayings "Listen to your gut." or "I have a gut feeling." And that's also why gut health is so important. Eating cleaner does help. Start to listen for a voice that comes from your gut. Once you find it it's like finding the voice of your spirit. And you'll know what to listen to when your thoughts get too loud and overwhelming.
be open and honest with yourself about what that inner voice is telling you. It won't always be easy, but it will be necessary if you want to move forward.
Set goals for yourself and focus on positive outcomes. This is a great way to motivate yourself, stay focused on the task at hand, and helps prevent negative thoughts from creeping in. Keep in mind, there is a difference between a goal and a state. What I mean by this is some people will say that their goal is to be happy. But that's actually a state they want to achieve. A goal is an outcome that can be measured. A state can be achieved straight away and is not dependent on an outcome. So what I am saying is...If happiness is your "goal" right now, then it is actually a state of being that you can choose to have at this moment without any outcome or change in your environment. Happiness is a state that no one can control but you.
Work on developing self-forgiveness. Even if it feels hard, acknowledging mistakes, making amends as best as possible, and forgiving yourself will help clear away negative feelings of guilt or shame.
Practice breathing exercises and meditation daily. Dedicating even a few minutes each day to meditating or doing some form of mindfulness exercise can help clear away any stagnant energy and help maintain a sense of balance in your life.
The journey of Self, self-love, self-forgiveness, self- trust, and self- confidence is a personal one, as it should be. It's all about YOU. It starts with YOU, making the decision to embark on this journey how you choose and the acknowledgment that change is possible. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. Life is worth living and loving yourself along the way is the best way to live.
Brittany S. Hall
Life Coach & CEO of Spirit of Alignment